Thursday, July 14, 2011

Embracing The Unknown

I needed to take a step back...
I needed to remember to be kind to myself...
I needed to quit focusing on the what if, the why not, and the maybe... 

I NEEDED to read this: Fitnessista's Cutting Some Slack blog post. 

Thank you Gina for saying what I wish I'd told myself a long time ago.

 ~ A little history: I have been a "worrier" since high school, ever since my parents decided it would be OK to have me switch from homeschooling to public schooling - mostly so I could play sports, and to get access to college scholarships. I felt so lucky! I'd never thought I'd enter the glorious, exciting social world of high school...  I told myself I would "prove to my parents that they made the right decision" and "make them proud." And I did. I was Vice-President of my class, National Honor Society, Mathletes, Varsity Basketball, Cross Country (awarded 'Most Improved Runner) and Track, Prom Princess, Salutatorian, and entered college on a full ride academic scholarship. AND I loved high school! I was popular with tons of friends and my teachers loved me; I totally rocked high school. .... Sounds all great right? Well little did I know I was setting myself up to always worry about "measuring up to expectations." My parents struggled with their marriage when I was younger. I always knew they were trying to make it work (which they did! Still together now), and that they loved us dearly... but almost every week I got the talk about what would happen if they got divorced. I couldn't do anything but watch. It made me feel sick. I wanted to help, but how? I knew how! Be the "perfect child" and then my family could be the "perfect family".... I did the exact same thing as Gina did, be *the best* ALL. THE. TIME. Little did I know the only one I who was judging my accomplishments was me. Gina's post was heaven-sent, she gets it... Oh-my-gosh she knows my pain!... 

 ~ Flash forward to this week: I have been killing myself in the gym lately, eating on plan, taking all my supplements and being as vigilant as possible with all my training... but I was putting WAY too much pressure on myself at work and and with planning for school. I’ll be a senior in Mechanical Engineering in the Fall, and I was stressing about my senior design project (Since then, God has TOTALLY answered my prayers about! Hallelujah).

Far too often I am my own wost enemy by holding negative attitudes about my accomplishments and it steals my joy.  Often I need an outside viewpoint to remind me to live in the present, cut myself some slack, and let God handle it. Because He already is anyways, just trust Him! Worrying NEVER made anything better, or work out any faster.

How often do we forget this simple idea?

Recently I've been having so much more peace now that I am trusting God's plans without trying to be "one step ahead" all the time. It really has been the "blissful" life this very blog is named after :) I am full of joy today and back to appreciating the positive and enjoying the little things!! Everything just feels awesome when you give yourself permission to not have all the answers.

Really listen to the lyrics of this song...

My last post announced some of the big plans I have for my future: plans for CreationFest, Bombshell camp, and the Olympia Expo. Life IS a lot less "unknown" than it was a week ago, but I still have flights to buy, hotels to book and bags to pack. There's still much left "unknown" though, and guess what? There ALWAYS will be! In order to have any stitch of sanity left at the end of the day YOU MUST LEARN TO EMBRACE THE UNKNOWN.

After all, aren't some of the funnest things the surprises? Looking forward to what could happen is actually waaayyy better than knowing what will happen. Imagine if you knew everything that was going to happen to you, for the rest of your life. What would there be to live for then? You'd miss out on all the joy of surprise parties, surprise endings in movies, not knowing what you're getting for Christmas, the excitement of a first kiss, finding out you won that contest you entered, running into an old friend by chance, or got more back on your tax return than you thought... ha-ha. Seeing a the future is over-rated in my opinion!

Angela, over at Oh She Glows, wrote a great post on Tips to Live In the Present that is such a good read. Like the Fitnessista, I always know I can turn to Oh She Glows for positive encouragement and helpful advice. Thank you Ange! Maybe you've been stuck in a stress-rut too, or maybe you're just having a tough day. Let me encourage you that you are not alone in your burdens... God will ALWAYS be with you if you ask Him, and He never takes a day off.

Find daily encouragement at, or start your day by reading a couple Bible verses... that's what I do! It sets such a peaceful, positive tone to the day :)

A verse I've been really taking to heart lately is Philippians 4:11-13, it reminds me that no matter what I'm going through or about to face (competition dieting, a tight budget, busy schedule, unknown future) I know the secret of contentment found in Jesus's love and promises.
" I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through Him who gives me strength. "

Money always seems to be a big stress for college kids, and for me it's no different! Competition and travel are both really expensive, so beyond the regular school expenses I'm kinda pushing it.. however, my Verse of the Day Bible app on my phone reminded me God's blessing my moneys too :)

Proverbs 3:9-10..."Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the first fruits of all your produce; then your barns will be filled with plenty, and your vats will be bursting with wine."
I'll take some 'plenty' and wine bursting! Ha-ha. FIRST I must honor God with my money though, so I will continue to tithe with joy at church and give money to those in need as God calls me to. I am His vessel here to accomplish His will, and then I am a college kid, Bikini competitor, and PSNS engineer.

Take away points?
  • Be YOU. Let God be God.
    • Only God can plan your path. Just walk the steps.  
  • Be Oblivious!
    • Don't try to control the future, know the future, or worry about the future. Find joy in the unknown, it's more exciting!
  • Be Present. And live in the present with Purpose.
    • As Christians, our purpose here on earth is to lead other's to the joy found in Christ so they can live with purpose, peace, and fulfillment here on earth too; and live for eternity with God in Heaven. Do God's work and He'll give you wine :D

Have a great Thursday everyone, and remember to enjoy today because you'll never have it again; you'll get a new day to worry about tomorrow ;)


Coming up: Update on Bombshell training and contest prep! Nine more days my friends :) Exciting times...

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